Good girl, bad girl.

"School life" the two words when used together are sufficient to bring a smile on your face followed by tears in your eyes. Pure nostalgia.

All of us had our share of crush and admirers in school life. Discussing their appearance, likes and dislikes and whereabouts took a good chunk of our lunch time. But those were the discussions that actually made our school lives worth cherishing.

Then there were people whom we called our close pals..our best buddies.. friends forever and what not. They used to be our one stoppage for everything.. be it being bench partner or gossip girl, from sharing homework to sharing life goals they knew everything about us..except the secrets left for our "dear diary" to know, of course.

These close pals were generally the ones who were similar to us..be it in academics or co curriculars..we used to do a lot of things together. These shared interests certainly formed the foundation for our friendship. Often these friends ended up becoming family as they were aware of the minutest things happening in our lives. Needless to say, they managed to get the approval of our parents so much so that now we were expected to take inspiration from them. A sinner teaching another to perform sin differently. Amazing.

Other than these close pals our school life also witnessed many classmates whom we called friends back then. Little did we know that these two were very different concepts.

But this article is not about the ones we knew or the ones who knew us. It's rather about the ones we wanted to know. The ones we secretly admired.

She was one such person I came across during my school life. She happened to be my classmate but not a friend. She was a rebel by nature. At least that's what she claimed to be. And probably this is the reason the adolescent in me admired her. I was also a rebel at heart.. selectively though. And I refused to learn how to cook just to prove that. Stupid..i know.

As far as I remember the first and foremost lessons given to us..much before we entered the formal school..were related to the "right" way of living. Never say a lie, respect elders, follow the instructions, don't argue with the elders etc. Going by those parameters she was totally wrong as a person. And hence the "secret".

For a conventional school like ours, proficiency in English was a big thing. On the top of it, she inroduced us to the "F" word. Oh by the way, It took me the entire graduation to understand its meaning. You may think It was me who was too conventional for this era maybe. But thankfully I wasn't the only one.

Anyway, so from smoking to alcohol, from bunking classes to questioning the teachers, she had done all that was not expected from a "good" student. Like everyone in my group I used to openly show my disapproval for her acts. But deep inside I always knew that she's not an ordinary girl. 

There was something about her that made me like her despite our moral differences. She was carefree. She lived on her own terms. And never for once she allowed anyone to take her for a ride. She was a "bad" girl but a good one at that. Back then the teenager in me couldn't understand the reasons behind my liking for someone who didn't fit my definition of a "good" person. But today when I think about her...I think I have my answers.

I liked her because she was exactly how I wanted to be. Not just a "rebel" but a rebel with a purpose.  She consumed certain things maybe at an inappropriate age..but those were her experiences that helped her grow. Like I have mine. She "argued" with the elders in general and teachers in particular not because she disrespected them but because she wanted to make informed choices. She wanted to know the reasons behind what we were learning. She questioned the authorities because it is important to know your rights in order to be an active citizen. She was carefree..confident..independent.. unconventional.. and non conformist..a "bad" girl. Yeah, a bad girl.