Girls' Night out

"He agreed to go by metre
I should have been suspicious
It was 'late' for a girl to be out in town
Should have carried the 'essentials'
He dared to misbehave
Probably he was drunk
(Sober men don't do that.)
Maybe I was loud and provocative
Else how would he think of doing that
I was busy talking to the friend on phone
Should have checked on the words and probably controlled the laughter"

"How come I didn't think of sharing the number of vehicle
How could I let him go like that
Since when I have turned so careless or weak
What made me assume that this Metropol is different"

All this while I read about your stories
And thought what these men must too
Why didn't you speak up earlier
Why waited for another #metoo
One instance..and a minor one
(Minor in terms of physical damage caused)
And it answered all the questions I had

More than the fear of being doubted by strangers
More than the fear of being questioned by unknown
More than all that slut shaming one gets subjected to
What makes you do what you do is the disbelief of your 'own' 

You can bear the brunt of what your body goes through
A woman is stronger than what she is made to believe
What breaks her though is
This ever-present thought
That yet another man gets to decide
What course her life will lead

That she's incapable and insufficient
That theory is very different from reality
That it's one thing to sit within four walls and talk about gender parity
And another to 'do' that gender everyday

That if anything wrong 'had' happened that day
It will take another lifetime to recover
Not from the pain that her body would go through
But from the devastation her pride would have faced
To live with the questions in the eyes of her loved ones
Restating the claim that they always made
"Call your brother while coming  back home
As travelling alone in the night is not safe"